I’ve been avoiding writing this post for a long time. Since May of this year to be exact. I guess the main reason I’ve been avoiding writing about this topic is that I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure if I was actually stopping attending 12 step meetings or not. But it’s been 5 months since I’ve been to a meeting so I figured I would finally address this topic
Read MoreIn 2013, 28.7 million people admitted to driving under the influence of alcohol – that’s more than the population of Texas.Everyone drinks and drives. Everyone. If you are a social drinker and you have never gotten behind the wheel after 2 or more drinks, I am confident enough to say you’re lying. It’s one of the first things we learn starting back in elementary school - DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE!
Read MoreIn sobriety, there are many seasons of survival. It’s funny how that word has evolved over time. For many years I was just surviving. Going to sleep at night and waking up to see another day during active addiction was like playing Russian roulette. During early sobriety, I thought, “finally, I am not only surviving, but I am truly living.” I put intention into my days and my actions. I felt grateful for the first time in my life and coping with daily life seemed doable.
Read MoreI vaguely remember picking out my outfit and hopping in a cab with my roomies. We got a table outside in the back overlooking the bay and that’s when the lights in my head faded to black. That was basically all I remembered of my 23rd birthday, save a few spotty details from the next morning, and other things my friends told me when I attempted to piece my night together.
Read MorePain, sadness, stress, etc. I’m dealing with it all. Two weeks ago I had the rug ripped out from under me in the form of being laid off from my job. It was a surprise and particularly devastating for a few reasons
Read MoreIt’s that time again, or was that time again, but as with a lot of stuff I am late. I once again had the pleasure of participating in Tammi and Sondra’s Recovery Gals Art Exchange project. This time for the summer solstice, with the theme of abundance. Abundance – a very large quantity of something, the state or condition of having a copious quantity of something; plentifulness
Read MoreYour body is a temple. You only get one. Cherish it. Take care of it. Love it.
Is there one woman on this Earth who hasn’t had a fucked up relationship with her body at some point in life?
Read MoreIt’s hard for me to understand that there are people in this world who go their entire lives without being part of an organized sports team. My earliest memory of organized sports is playing soccer at the age of 5 in New Jersey. My sister and I were on the red team and the teams moved in clusters around the ball. I remember my rosy face hot with sweat and eating orange slices at halftime.
Read MoreI’ve had a complicated past with friendships. I know this is hard to believe for many of you who know me now, but it used to be difficult for me to make friends. Growing up I had several tight-knit friendships with a few different girls, each one dying out on its own, but that separation was always hard for me to accept. In 6th grade I even signed up for a “how to make friends” course with my school guidance counselor, on a recommendation from my mother. In 8th grade I finally found a group of girls who would become my best friends, some of them I knew earlier than that from soccer and elementary school, but we solidified as a group at the end of middle school. They made my days brighter and we vowed to be friends for life.
Read MoreOne thing I felt so much of in early sobriety was remorse. As if we already don’t feel shitty enough because of the things we did while drinking and using drugs, those of us who quit drinking feel shame and guilt for doing so. If we say the word “alcoholic,” if we admit we are out of control, if we say we can’t drink anymore, we are automatically looked down upon. We are encouraged to stay anonymous for fear of rejection and stigma. So, is it any surprise that when I got sober I felt defeated? Inept? Like a failure? I felt like I couldn’t do something everyone else was doing - drink normally.
Read MoreAs soon as the vodka hit my lips, I knew. The rush of excitement and feelings of the unknown would hit me. I just never knew what might happen. I could meet the love of my life, I could end up in a crazy situation, I could not remember any of it, I could have the best night of my life or the worst! I threw caution to the wind. Do most people feel this way when they drink? Maybe sometimes, but I don’t think it’s why they drink.
Read MoreThis isn’t the first time I’ve written about my birthday and I’m sure it won’t be the last, but this one feels different. I don’t feel like I’m searching for the life lessons I’ve learned or things that have gotten me through this last year of life. This isn’t a pep talk. I’m not anxiety-ridden like I was before my 30th birthday.
Read MoreIn early May I bookmarked a new HBO documentary that was coming out. I set the recording on my DVR and couldn’t wait to watch. It was called Warning: This Drug May Kill You. Great title, right? I knew from the title I would probably be disappointed in the content of the documentary, but I chose to watch it anyway. It’s not often addiction and recovery are documentary topics so I try to watch every one that comes out.
Read MoreToday I’m happy to report that I’ve also partnered with Tamera Anderson-Hanna in putting together a workshop for the month of September here in Florida. September is Recovery Month and we will be celebrating it in South Florida by hosting a workshop called Mindful Thinking for Recovery.
Read MoreI don’t feel quite recovered from a full weekend with women in recovery yet, but I’m writing anyway. Last weekend 500 women descended on New York City for one common cause: to unite in love and recovery. I had been waiting in anticipation for this event for a year and I even got to celebrate my 4 year sober anniversary while I was there. I’m happy to report and proud to say that it went above and beyond my expectations.
Read MoreI hope this day in the history of my life is just as important to me 20 years from now, as it is today. It can be a painful memory to recall. No one likes to admit that their life is a mess, that they lost control, or that they cannot moderate their drinking no matter how hard they try. Before May 7, 2013 I worked incredibly hard at making it seem like I had it all together. I had a job, I could pay my rent, I had a boyfriend, I was living in one of the most fabulous cities in the world. Everyone thought I was living the dream, when deep down inside I had a hole in my soul.
Read MoreIt’s already mid-April, seriously where does the time go? And that means we’re officially three weeks out from She Recovers NYC! If you haven’t heard of this amazing 3-day event yet which takes place in New York City from May 5th through the 7th, you’re already missing out. But I’m going to tell you exactly why you need to be there.
Read MoreHave I told you lately how much I love the internet? Well, I do. The power of the internet is so great that people can get sober using the internet, find support groups for anything they’re going through, and find lifelong friends, all on the internet. Through my blog and other sober people’s blogs and websites, I’ve found a ton of amazing people who I am lucky enough to call my friends.
Read MoreSince I began my blog in 2014 and my very first post about sobriety went viral, I am always asked this one question: how did you do it? At first, I couldn’t even answer this question. I truly didn’t know how I did it. But as time went on and more people asked, I knew I had to share my personal experience. Today, I have a recovery program that works for me, but it all goes back to those first days of my sobriety, my moment of clarity and taking that very first step.
Read MoreAs you might have noticed from my posts lately I’ve ventured into the yoga world a bit more. I have done yoga on and off since high school, but back then I thought yoga was a type of exercise. And yoga does get your heart rate up and your juices flowing, depending on what type of yoga you do. However, yoga wasn’t historically meant for exercise.
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