The Magic and Peace of a Dry Town

The Magic and Peace of a Dry Town

Nothing got me more pumped for summer than knowing I’d be spending a week of it down the shore. If you don’t know the phrase “down the shore,” than you probably aren’t from Philadelphia or the tri-state area. Anyone from the suburbs of Philly like me, knows that every summer starting on Memorial Day weekend, everyone heads to the jersey shore. The New Jersey coastline includes a line of shore towns starting with Atlantic City and working its way South all way down to Cape May. Families normally rent a house for a week or two during the summer at their favorite shore town and spend it lying on the sandy beaches, frolicking in the bitter cold Atlantic Ocean, and walking the boardwalk, riding bikes, and most likely, drinking.

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Punta Cana, We Meet Again

Punta Cana, We Meet Again

Thinking, writing, and talking about my last time drinking has been something that I’ve done quite a bit. But there’s nothing quite like being back in the exact place where it happened. A few weeks ago I traveled back to the place where I consumed alcohol for the very last time, Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. I went for one of my best friend’s weddings. When I stepped off the airplane and was hit with the hot, humid air of the caribbean, it all came back to me.

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How I Shed My Party Girl Identity

How I Shed My Party Girl Identity

Drinking for me was always associated with going out, with partying. Since I attended my first party, I knew being at a party was when I was most in my element. These started out as small house parties in high school at empty houses with loud music and alcohol, given to us by older friends or stolen from parents. After I went off to college and found a fake ID, parties got even more exciting. I quickly learned you could even have a party preference! My preference was going to places that had cheap shots and good music to dance to, plus a crowd of strangers to flirt with. My nights would start with raiding my closet for the perfect outfit.

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6 Years Sober

6 Years Sober

At this time last year I was announcing something pretty cool on this day. It was my book deal. A dream that I had, realized, and then as you all know, it was quickly dropped from my reach months later. This experience has overshadowed the last year of my life. First, it made the last year seem exciting, fulfilling and diligent, and then after the deal was lost, I felt a great sadness and grief, followed by a feeling of being stuck.

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She Recovers Sharing Circle Starts in Cape Coral

She Recovers Sharing Circle Starts in Cape Coral

Our first She Recovers Sharing Circle in Cape Coral will be held on May 12, 2019 at 6pm at the Center for Spiritual Living. Our sharing circle is a safe place for self-identified women to come and talk about challenges in their lives, receive support, and connect with others who have, or have had, similar experiences. We hope to provide a place where women feel seen, heard, accepted, and uplifted.

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What is a Recovery Coach?

What is a Recovery Coach?

As I shift into this new identity of mine as a Recovery Coach, it’s no surprise that I am often met with confused stares or various questions via discovery call, email, and direct message. People normally ask me what’s a Recovery Coach? Or how is a Recovery Coach different from a sponsor? What do Recovery Coaches do? What are you discovering in a discovery call? Does a Recovery Coach get you sober? Why do you charge money?

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Sobriety is an Act of Women's Empowerment

Sobriety is an Act of Women's Empowerment

Women are drinking more and are feeling the effects of their drinking sooner. We are also targeted more than men. The mommy wine culture and glamorization of alcohol in the media are proof of that. Everywhere we turn there are tampon-shaped flasks to sneak alcohol into public places, shower wine glass holders, and faux-feminist booze like Jane Walker. Spare me. When I was still drinking Natty Light and good old Vladimir vodka in the plastic handle container were good enough for me. Old me probably would have loved that Big Alcohol is now playing to my feminist agenda.

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10 Well-Known People of Color in Recovery

10 Well-Known People of Color in Recovery

Black History Month is an annual celebration recognized in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom in honor and remembrance of important people, experiences, and events from African-American history.  The prominent and important history of African-Americans is too-often overlooked and this is especially true when it comes to addiction and recovery. When you browse the internet, there isn’t much information on the unique struggles of people of color in recovery, or articles that speak specifically to this demographic. In order to empower people of color who are in, or seeking recovery, it’s important that they can identify with the people and experiences that are being talked about. In honor of Black History Month, I’ve put together a list of well-known people of color who battled a substance use disorder and found recovery. 

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My 2018 Year in Review

My 2018 Year in Review

Three hundred and sixty-five days of this life have come and gone again and just like all the other years, this one felt like it went at the speed of light. 2018 felt like it was filled with a lot of pain, but I know it also had some fun and some accomplishments. And although I shed a lot of tears, it wasn’t all bad. I try really hard not to let the pain of a year overshadow the whole thing and that’s why I wanted to make a list of things I’m proud of this year.

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Giving Back: Your Holiday Guide to Recovery Charities

Giving Back: Your Holiday Guide to Recovery Charities

Last year I provided a holiday gift guide for the people in your life who are sober. This year I wanted to get a list together of organizations who need your help and your money. When we reach the end of year it’s a good time to think about what organizations’ missions mean a lot to us and how we can give back to their causes. There’s nothing simpler than sending a $5 or $10 donation that takes no longer than 30 seconds. Here is a short list of organizations that are doing great things. If you’re looking to send a holiday gift, consider a donation to these groups.

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Coming Home to Myself

Coming Home to Myself

As soon as I think I’ve got it all figured out, the universe assures me that I in fact, do not. Year 32 has been a gut punch, a year of highs that come with anxiety, and inexplicable lows that seemingly came out of nowhere. A year where I felt away from myself and close to myself at the same time. This morning on my 33rd birthday, I woke up at 6:20am and watched the sun rise. There is something about the peace and stillness of the morning that only belongs to me, that I love, even though waking up early is difficult for me. I wanted to see the sun rise because I wanted physical proof. I wanted proof that I am here, that I am alive, that this life I’m living is real. Without fail when I see the sun rise, the trees sway in the wind, or the ocean beat against the shore I feel like everything is going to be ok, that I am supported by the universe.

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Is Sobriety For Me?

Is Sobriety For Me?

Sobriety is only for drunks, junkies, and AA-goers. Sobriety is only for people who can’t control their alcohol intake and have no other choice but to quit. Those are the ideas I subscribed to my whole life. I think they are ideas that much of society still subscribes to. Other ideas society perpetuates? If you can’t drink alcohol something is wrong with you. Being called an alcoholic is worse than being called a criminal (or equal to?). Sobriety is lame. Sobriety is dumb. Sobriety is unobtainable. Sobriety is not for me.

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A Real Writer

A Real Writer

Do you ever spend your life thinking of yourself as one way, only to find out you’re actually the opposite? I feel like we have these revelations often in sobriety. For example, I spent years of my life truly believing my man-picker was broken. All of my romantic relationships were toxic, starting from the young age of 16. Each one was filled with vitriol, yelling, arguments, and explosive break-ups and incredible make-up sex. It wasn’t until my first go-round through the 12 steps that I came to the stark realization that I, in fact, was the toxic one.

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Living Outside the Sober Bubble

Living Outside the Sober Bubble

When I got sober I lived in a foreign country where being sober was basically unheard of. I didn’t know what any of this crap meant - “pink cloud,” “90 in 90,” “sponsor,” “people, places, things.” I was truly on my own from the get-go with my sobriety. I paved my own way and I never considered that some people get sober and stay in a sober bubble, sometimes forever. I was thrown into the fire in the first week of my sobriety. I attended a birthday dinner for my mother-in-law and there were bottles of wine. My family indulged while I could not. It felt horrible. I felt sad, angry, and annoyed. I felt like the odd man out. Shortly after that experience, I attended another birthday party for a friend which took place on a boat in the Caribbean Sea. On this trip, I was accompanied by a pregnant friend who also was not drinking, but I still felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I felt uncomfortable and I felt like a liar for telling people I wasn’t drinking because I was running a 5K in the morning (true, but not all the way true).

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Cultivate Your Full Bloom

Cultivate Your Full Bloom

On May 7, 2013 I was on a plane flying back to Cancun where I lived at the time, from Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. Minutes before I had made a heartbreaking decision for myself. I decided that I would not be drinking again, until further notice. My mom had listened to me crying in the Punta Cana airport, full of distress and questioning my worth as a person. What the fuck was wrong with me? I was so sick of not being able to control my drinking. I was so sick of feeling like crap afterward. I was sick of feeling paranoid that everyone was mad at me for something I did or said while wasted. I was sick of ruining relationship after relationship. I wanted these feelings to leave me and I knew in order to do that I had to cut alcohol out of my life.

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Holiday Gift Guide For the Sober Person in Your Life

Holiday Gift Guide For the Sober Person in Your Life

During the holidays alcohol is often given as a gift without a second thought. It can be hurtful and disappointing for those of us in recovery. I curated a short list of gifts I know I would personally love to receive as a woman in recovery, and I’m sure others in recovery would as well.

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A Spiritual Experience Is Messy

A Spiritual Experience Is Messy

I have always been a girl with an imagination. It’s a blessing and a curse really. I hate scary movies because if I believe it’s possible that it could happen in real life, it becomes too real for my consciousness. Until I was old enough to truly separate imaginary from reality, life was full of fear, but also overwhelming possibility. I remember being crushed when I found out Santa Claus wasn’t real. I remember using the Ouija board to communicate with my dead relatives at the age of 12. Call me crazy, but deep down inside even as a child, I felt intuitively special. I felt in touch with my inner voice. My sister and I still joke around about how I said I had psychic abilities because there were times when I would predict the phone would ring before it did.

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4.5 Years Ago Wasn’t Different, It Was More of the Same

4.5 Years Ago Wasn’t Different, It Was More of the Same

The last night I drank I was on a girls trip at a beautiful all-inclusive resort in sunny Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. It was my first time in the country and what a memorable time it would be. Now it’s officially the place I had my last sip of alcohol. That weekend in May of 2013 is something I’ve gone over in my head about a million and one times now.

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When You're the Only Sober Person at the Party

When You're the Only Sober Person at the Party

A few weeks ago during one of our Bloom Club classes we discussed sobriety as a lifestyle. For me, I believe this component is essential for successful sobriety. Sobriety isn’t something you can take on and off like a jacket. It’s not something you can keep hidden away as a secret that you only take out in church basements to discuss amongst like-minded people. It must be something that you believe in with your whole heart. It must be something that you’re proud of and that you put first. Otherwise it won’t work. Or it might work, but you may eventually feel like you are leading a double life, that sobriety is a chore, or something to be ashamed of.

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