Over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, my only sister and very best friend got married. I was her maid of honor and had to give a public speech in front of about 100 people aka my worst nightmare. There is a reason I prefer writing, not speaking. Haha. This joyous occasion not only marked a new chapter in the lives of my sister and her new husband, but in my life as well.
1. My family is forever changed
And this is a good thing! I wasn't always open to change, but I've realized now that our family has expanded greatly and it will never be the same. I've finally gained a brother (something I've wanted my entire life!) and a nephew who keeps life exciting. I know my dad is psyched to have other males around because he was surrounded by just my mom, me, and my sister for so long. This new dynamic we have with my boyfriend Fer, my sister's husband (also named Fernando!) , my dad, and my nephew Adrian, brings testosterone and male bonding. As an independent woman, I still really like seeing that we have a strong male side to our family now!
2. I have to share my sister
Boooooo. Haha. If you know me, you know I'm not a great sharer. It's been hard for me to get out of my selfishness and realize my sister isn't going to be at my beck and call 24/7. There were times when I felt like I was in competition with my sister's boyfriends in the past, which is just silly. I'm finally realizing my alcoholic brain needs training to learn that it isn't all about ME. Luckily, I am happy to share my sister with an awesome guy like my brother-in-law; he is making it easy for me! He not only unconditionally loves my sister, he also accepts me for who I am and respects the close friendship I have with my sister.
3. New roles
Whoaaaaa life! I am an aunt now and a sister-in-law. These are roles that I've never taken on before. This means a lot of learning, listening, and patience - skills I am still perfecting! haha. Seeing my family members in new roles is different too. My parents are grandma and grandpa and my sister is a step mother. Observing these new roles and how I fit in is fascinating and eye-opening.
4. I'm next
Since my sister and I are only one year apart in age and I have a long-term boyfriend, many people at the wedding were questioning when I am going to get married. Pressure! Of course I can't wait to marry Fer, but we are in no rush. Plus getting married means spending a lot of money and time on one special day and we are spending money on other things right now, like travel and cars. However, these questions do make me feel old! I can't believe I'm going to be 30 next year...but that's for another post...
5. If I wasn't sober I wouldn't be enjoying any of this
This is the truth. I believe if I was still in my days of heavy partying, I wouldn't have enjoyed my sister's wedding and everything that came with it. I would have probably not been such an integral part of this experience and I would have been fighting tooth and nail not to share my sister with someone else. I would have been drunk, blacked out, or hungover, or all of the above. Being sober has given me a perspective I've never had before. It has allowed me to deal with situations with a mature and healthy mindset. I am not only able to accept the happiness and life choices of my sister, but I am able to enjoy them, support her, and really be there for her during one of the happiest times of her life. I am truly and genuinely happy for her. I feel peace and joy in my heart when I think of her future and her new little family.
Most importantly I was able to get up in front of a crowd and express how I felt about my sister and her husband. Even though I was nervous, I didn't need alcohol. People laughed, they cried. They enjoyed my speech just as much as I enjoyed giving it.
I know from this point forward my family will be different and I'm ok with it. I am willing and able to accept these changes with open arms. I know I know, who am I? I guess these feelings are just another advantage of being sober.