How To Ask For Help When You Don't Want To

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How To Ask For Help When You Don't Want To

Asking for help is something no one ever wants to do. Especially when it comes to addiction. For me, it has always been hard to ask for help. My ego has always been in the way. Growing up I was scared I would look stupid in school if I asked questions everyone already knew the answer to. It was one of my biggest fears and it led to me getting behind in some subjects because I wouldn't speak up when I didn't understand. I was terrified of looking and feeling stupid because then I would believe that I really was stupid.

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Can You Be Carefree, Fun, And Spontaneous In Sobriety?

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Can You Be Carefree, Fun, And Spontaneous In Sobriety?

"Fun" - double fisting at a concert with a million other people. A little over a week ago I received a detailed message from one of my readers about reaching two years of sobriety and feeling, well, kind of blah. She expressed that she felt that she was finally coming down off the "pink cloud" and that she had been thinking a lot about her former drinking life. She said she is grateful to not have to wake up with a hangover and not be the volatile, messy person she used to be who was surrounded my chaos, but that she did miss being carefree, fun, and spontaneous. As soon as I read her message I knew I had to write about this topic.

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Where's Your Human Compassion?

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Where's Your Human Compassion?

In writing this post I have to say I've been feeling a little distraught lately, a little disappointed in humanity. It's nothing new that the world is filled with tragedy and as always, I follow the news and politics pretty closely. But lately it has gotten pretty intense. With the mass shooting in San Bernardino and the terrorist attack in Paris, fear is at an all time high and it seems like this allows hate to creep in. It's not only the violence that bothers me, but the reactions of some people afterwards.

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Why I'm Going To Unite To Face Addiction On October 4

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Why I'm Going To Unite To Face Addiction On October 4

Unite to Face Addiction is a big rally on the National Mall in Washington D.C. set to take place on Sunday, October 4, from 4 to 8 p.m. The event will include musical performances from Steven Tyler, The Goo Goo Dolls, Sheryl Crow, The Fray, and many others. Additionally, there will be recovery advocates from across the country and inspirational speakers whose lives have been touched by addiction in some way. The goal of Unite To Face Addiction is to bring awareness and new solutions to the addiction crisis in America.

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Recovery Messaging Training With Young People In Recovery

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Recovery Messaging Training With Young People In Recovery

I talk a lot about recovering out loud, breaking the stigma of addiction, and telling your story. But I've never really considered how my rhetoric can affect the public's perception of this disease that I'm dealing with.

Last Saturday I crossed over to the other side of the state and visited Boynton Beach to attend a Young People in Recovery event called Recovery Messaging Training. It sounded like something that was right up my alley and I had been wanting to attend a YPR event for awhile now so this was the perfect one. I met a lot of great people and learned new information about how I can present my recovery to the world.

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10 Reasons Why Being Alone is Awesome

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10 Reasons Why Being Alone is Awesome

Being alone is often thought of as lonely, boring, or even a waste of time. I find this is especially true among addicts and alcoholics. If you're anything like I was, being alone is like hell. I thought being alone was for losers. I tried hard NOT to be alone. I surrounded myself with people, parties, drugs, and alcohol just so I didn't have to be alone. I never realized at the time that I was doing this on purpose. It wasn't until I got sober that I realized I hated to be alone with myself. Being alone meant thinking about everything and I hated to let my mind wander. Alone time meant beating myself up, questioning my whole life, my existence, and constant anxiety about where my life was headed. It made sense that I chose to occupy my life with fake friends, nights out at the club, and literally anything else that would keep my body and my mind busy. I couldn't figure out why there were people who actually enjoyed being alone, staying in on the weekends, or even, ::gasp::, people who quiet their minds on purpose.. also known as meditation.

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Acceptance Is The Answer...For Dealing With 6 Knee Surgeries

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Acceptance Is The Answer...For Dealing With 6 Knee Surgeries

I've had a million ideas for blog posts and website redesigns for my site lately and I've been feeling guilty for not putting the time and attention I want into it. I blame it mostly on more self-care and homework I'm doing for my AA step study group. Excuses aside, I pushed my topic ideas to the back to write about something more pressing that's on my mind. Next Thursday, a week from today I'll be having my sixth knee surgery. Yes, you read that correctly, 6 knee surgeries. As I've mentioned in previous blog posts, my favorite sport in the world is soccer, and although I almost love it more than life itself, it has provided me with quite a few injuries along the way. I have what's known as the curse of the ACL injury and I'm sure if you've played soccer sometime in your life, you know about this injury. It has haunted me since the age of 16. My most recent injury isn't an ACL tear, so I feel like I should be thankful. This time around, I tore my medial meniscus in my left knee. Also in there is a cyst and a random piece hanging off of my patellar tendon. So next week I'll go under the knife for the 6th time and undergo an arthroscopy to fix these 3 small issues. Obviously, I won't be able to play soccer or do much of anything for a while following the surgery. Approximately 6-12 weeks without soccer, but who's counting?

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I'm An Alcoholic And You Might Be Too

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I'm An Alcoholic And You Might Be Too

Dun dun dun!!! I know, I wrote a blog just a few months back questioning whether or not I was an alcoholic and I told you all that labels don't really matter. Although I still don't believe the label is required, I do think I wasn't being 100% honest with myself. So I'm here to say that ...My name is Kelly and I'm an ALCOHOLIC!!

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Am I an Alcoholic?

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Am I an Alcoholic?

Dun dun dun.... the dreaded question. Well I know it's not so dreaded for some of you. Some of you already know that you are alcoholics or addicts and have become empowered by accepting this fact.Me on the other hand, I am still struggling with these labels. Maybe it's because I don't attend AA and I'm not forced to get in front of a group and say out loud every day, "My name is Kelly and I'm an alcoholic" or maybe I'm still in denial.

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