Your body is a temple. You only get one. Cherish it. Take care of it. Love it.
Is there one woman on this Earth who hasn’t had a fucked up relationship with her body at some point in life?Read More
I talk about my relationship with my significant other often. I've written countless posts about our love, where we came from and where we are now. I've received many messages, questions, and comments about my relationship with Fer and how we've made it through all the dark times and still have such a strong bond. I've been told that it must have been easier for me to get sober because I had Fer to lean on and help me through it. It's also been difficult for me to give advice about dating in early sobriety, or really dating at all, because I never had to do it since becoming sober. I'm often told I don't understand what it's like to be alone in early sobriety, to be heartbroken, or to have to not date anyone in the first year like so many recovery groups recommend. I share my experience as much as I can and give advice where I can too, but they're right, I don't know what it's like to be without my partner in sobriety. I also don't know what it's like to date someone new and explain to them my past, why I'm sober, and interview them about their drinking habits too. It must be incredibly hard. What I do know about is what kind of relationship works for me.Read More
I've been wanting to write this post for awhile, but over the last few weeks something else would come up and I would write about a different topic. But this week I'm finally talking about self-care vs. selfishness in recovery - two very important, albeit different concepts. They are often confused and it's not unusual for a person to use self-care as a reason for doing something, but actually be coming from a selfish place, or vice versa. So, what's the difference between self-care and selfishness and why are both relevant to recovery?Read More
The question I am most often asked on here is this: how did you do it? How did you get sober? It seems like such a simple question, but the answer is complex. For some people struggling for years with addiction, I'm sure loved ones and significant others are always asking the question, "why now?" in terms of getting sober. I know that I was in dark place for a few years and asking for help never occurred to me. So how do we get to that point? Why is it so hard to ask for help with an addiction? Here are some reasons why I think it's difficult.Read More
Being alone is often thought of as lonely, boring, or even a waste of time. I find this is especially true among addicts and alcoholics. If you're anything like I was, being alone is like hell. I thought being alone was for losers. I tried hard NOT to be alone. I surrounded myself with people, parties, drugs, and alcohol just so I didn't have to be alone. I never realized at the time that I was doing this on purpose. It wasn't until I got sober that I realized I hated to be alone with myself. Being alone meant thinking about everything and I hated to let my mind wander. Alone time meant beating myself up, questioning my whole life, my existence, and constant anxiety about where my life was headed. It made sense that I chose to occupy my life with fake friends, nights out at the club, and literally anything else that would keep my body and my mind busy. I couldn't figure out why there were people who actually enjoyed being alone, staying in on the weekends, or even, ::gasp::, people who quiet their minds on purpose.. also known as meditation.Read More