Where's Your Human Compassion?

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Where's Your Human Compassion?

In writing this post I have to say I've been feeling a little distraught lately, a little disappointed in humanity. It's nothing new that the world is filled with tragedy and as always, I follow the news and politics pretty closely. But lately it has gotten pretty intense. With the mass shooting in San Bernardino and the terrorist attack in Paris, fear is at an all time high and it seems like this allows hate to creep in. It's not only the violence that bothers me, but the reactions of some people afterwards.

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How To Deal With People Who Aren't Supportive Of Your Sobriety

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How To Deal With People Who Aren't Supportive Of Your Sobriety

I got sober and now everyone should be happy. Look at me, I'm awesome. This shit is hard and I deserve support. Sound familiar? I think we have all gone through this stage at some point in our sobriety. And if you haven't yet, chances are you might.

When I got sober I thought everyone would be happy for me and support me, but that was not the case. Not everyone understood my decision to get sober. Some people's reactions surprised me, some did not, and some just couldn't deal with seeing me sober because that would mean they would need to look at their own drinking and using habits. It's hard not to take these factors personally. It's also hard to believe anyone wouldn't want to support you on making a healthy life decision, like choosing not to use drugs or drink anymore. But it still happens.

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Don't Drink And Drive, Ever

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Don't Drink And Drive, Ever

With the holidays coming up I wanted to touch on an important topic: drinking and driving. I think it becomes a more common occurrence during the holidays when people are attending more parties and events that involve drinking. And chances are if you have issues with alcohol, you've driven drunk at least once. I will be the first to admit that I drove under the influence many times. Luckily, I never got into an accident or hurt anyone. I also never got a DUI, but I did get pulled over once. It was the one time I drove while blacked out and it scared the crap out of me. It was in Pennsylvania when I was in college and a friend and I went to the bar on a weeknight. The small downtown city bars were a 15 minute drive from campus and no one used taxis there. We had no choice but to take a car. I drove, knowing that I would drink at the bar. My excuse was: if I get too drunk we can take a cab home and I'll leave my car. I don't remember making the decision to drive.

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The Only Way To Deal With Pain Is To Go Through It

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The Only Way To Deal With Pain Is To Go Through It

Have you ever had one of those days when everything seems to be going wrong and you just feel like you can't get out of your funk? It doesn't take much for me to get into that mindset of "why me?" and "life isn't fair." I had one of those days this week.

I've been having stomach issues off and on for the last year. I saw a gastroenterologist in June and was prescribed some antibiotics that gave me some short-term relief and I continued on with the mindset that the issues would just go away. When they didn't, I finally decided to head back to the doctor and that appointment was this week. They told me I needed to schedule a colonoscopy to make sure it's nothing serious and that I should cut dairy out of my diet. It could be that I developed a lactose intolerance. Or it could be something else like Irritable Bowel Syndrome (ugh). Not only did I get this news, but the doctor also gave me a speech I've heard one too many times. He told me I needed to do some "soul-searching" about playing soccer after 6 knee surgeries and what impact that could have on my health and future.

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13th Step Jokes Aren't Funny

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13th Step Jokes Aren't Funny

I hate to be a buzzkill, but 13th step jokes aren't funny. The whole 13th step concept is weird, shameful, and tragic. I've always been the person who doesn't think racist jokes are funny, or rape jokes, or any type of sensitive subject that is used as the butt of someone's humor.

Growing up I was the one always telling my peers not to say the "n" word when referring to people of color, or the "f" word to describe gay people. I used to get a lot of weird looks and eye rolls. In college a few friends of mine were on an intramural flag football team they cleverly named, "SDIA" which spelled AIDS backwards. Yes, like the syndrome that is caused by the HIV virus. Why did they pick this name? They were going to "infect" everyone in the league and win all their games. I can't make this shit up folks. I remember when I heard their reasoning and saw their t-shirts I was so angry I cried. How could people be so cruel? Did they not know that AIDS is a deadly disease that has killed millions including someone important in my own family? Obviously not.

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Your Worst Sobriety Fears [Explained In Halloween Gifs]

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Your Worst Sobriety Fears [Explained In Halloween Gifs]

It's that time of the year again! The time when all the ghosts and goblins come out, and people take joy in hiding behind their masks. For those of us who deal with substance abuse disorder, it's not uncommon to hide our true selves behind the masks of our disease. Fear can be paralyzing, especially when it prevents you from enjoying the gifts of sobriety. I know that when I got sober I thought my life was over and I had many overpowering fears that hung over my head like a rain cloud. Since we're in the spooky Halloween spirit, I've complied a list of your worst sobriety fears complete with creepy gifs. Hopefully you'll see just how silly sobriety fears are!

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The Hardest Parts About Being Sober

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The Hardest Parts About Being Sober

I talk sobriety up on here. That's because 99.9% of the time it's amazing and it has definitely transformed my life. I want more people to know how great it is so they can try it themselves. But I wanted to get real for a minute in this post because I want people to know that being sober isn't always easy. Sometimes it can be hard. That's not to say it's impossible or that you shouldn't try this way of life, but just like in life, there are good days and bad. These are the hardest parts about being sober.

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7 Things I Learned At My First ICYPAA

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7 Things I Learned At My First ICYPAA

Do you ever feel like you were just destined to be friends with someone? You meet and it's not weird at all. It's like you've known each other for years. It's a rare quality in a friendship and I got to experience it this past weekend. I finally met my online friend Beth after catfishing her for a year and a half (I kid.) Our paths crossed in the rarest of circumstances. We both wrote about our sobriety and our posts both got picked up by the Huffington Post in May of 2014. We both wrote each other emails and discovered we shared the same sobriety date. Just like that we became friends. We started talking, texting, and snapchatting daily. A year and a half later, I finally met her in the flesh and blood when she came to Florida last week. Beth came down to go to ICYPAA - the International Conference for Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous and I went with her.

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The 4 Stages Of Early Sobriety

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The 4 Stages Of Early Sobriety

Lately I've been receiving a ton of messages and emails from my readers about early sobriety. I realize that many of us contemplate sobriety for months, or even years, before we decide to take the leap and make a change. Before we do, we want to know exactly what it's going to be like and what's going to happen when we get sober. I'm sure that's why a lot of you read my blog in the first place. You want to know - is getting sober possible? Is it enjoyable? What is everyday life going to be like? Well, to briefly answer those questions, early sobriety is different from years of sobriety, as I am quickly learning at 2 years and 3.5 months sober. I think early sobriety can easily be broken down into 4 realistic stages which I will detail for you below.

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The Anatomy of a Blackout

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The Anatomy of a Blackout

If you haven't heard of the book, Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank To Forget by Sarah Hepola yet, you've most likely been living under a rock. She has been on all of my favorite recovery podcasts, blog sites, and news sites, (even CNN and NPR!) and I'm not surprised because her book is just as good as all the hype it got.Not only is her storytelling ability and candidness refreshing and captivating, her story is one I can 100% relate to. I found myself thinking at several points in the book, wow, it's like she is taking thoughts out of my brain and writing them in this book. I literally couldn't put the book down. I kept thinking she is me, I am her, we are the same person.

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Everything You Need To Know About Sober Travel

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Everything You Need To Know About Sober Travel

I really can't believe I haven't written a specific post about this before. Most of you know that traveling is one of my favorite things and it's 1000% better now that I'm sober. Travel can be intimidating when you're newly sober. I am often asked about places to avoid, what I do differently now that I'm sober, and overall how sober travel compares to drunk travel. I'm going to answer these questions and share my experience on how sober travel is for me now and how it was when I first got sober.

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I Drank Alcohol By Accident, Did I Relapse?

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I Drank Alcohol By Accident, Did I Relapse?

s most of you know I've been on vacation in Canada since last week. My trip has been amazingly unforgettable with lots of soccer, culture, food, and memories. I've had experiences that will last a lifetime. I've also had a few traumatizing things happen to me while I was away.

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12 Lessons Learned From the 12 Steps

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12 Lessons Learned From the 12 Steps

I recently finished my first time through the 12 steps. I did this through a local step study class and with my sponsor. I wasn't sure how it was going to go and I think a big reason I avoided attending AA for so long was because of the 4th step where you write down your ugly past and then tell your sponsor about it in step 5. I was terrified. It definitely didn't go how I thought it would and it was not as scary. Plus, I learned a whole lot of other awesome stuff along the way. Here is what I learned during my first time through the 12 steps

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This is 30 - Birthday Reflections From a Sober 30 Year Old

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This is 30 - Birthday Reflections From a Sober 30 Year Old

As a gemini my birthday is the most important holiday of the year by far. Fellow geminis, I'm sure you can relate! We want everyone to know it's our birthday and how they can help us celebrate. June 7 is that day for me. As with most milestones in my life I took the time to sit down and reflect about how this birthday is different for me and what I've learned so far in my 30 years on this Earth.

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Anonymity in AA and the Age of the Internet

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Anonymity in AA and the Age of the Internet

'm not new to derogatory comments and people who don't agree with me. I learned after the first time my article went viral it's not a good idea to read all the comments. Instead I enjoy the positive emails and messages I receive, while ignoring the negative. After Huffington Post published my article on Monday and shared it on their Facebook page, I got the usual uptick in traffic, email, and messages. One thing was different though. To my surprise, I got about 10 messages from AA-goers who were clearly not happy with me. Apparently my candid mention of "Alcoholics Anonymous" and what its taught me in my 2 year article did not sit well with them. They did not hesitate to tell me their thoughts. Here are a few of the messages:

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Love in the Time of Sobriety

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Love in the Time of Sobriety

“It was the time when they loved each other best, without hurry or excess, when both were most conscious of and grateful for their incredible victories over adversity.” — Love in the Time of Cholera Warning: this post is about love and it could get sappy! Having just celebrated my soberversary, I have been reflecting on a lot of things in my life, not just my sobriety. One of the most beautiful things about my life is the ability I have gained to love and be loved.

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Two Years Without Alcohol

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Two Years Without Alcohol

If anyone can possibly believe it, it's been a whole year since I wrote my infamous One Year Without Alcohol blog. The one that gave me internet fame, a platform to talk about my sobriety, and propelled my writing career. It was the first time I outed myself as a sober person. I was terrified and relieved at the same time. Who knew that getting the crazy thoughts out of my head and into a blog would resonate with so many people? I sure didn't, but I'm glad it did. Now here I am 2 years sober. On May 6, 2013 I took my last drink. Since then my life has done a complete 360. I am a different person. Here is what I've learned so far.

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10 Reasons Why Being Alone is Awesome

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10 Reasons Why Being Alone is Awesome

Being alone is often thought of as lonely, boring, or even a waste of time. I find this is especially true among addicts and alcoholics. If you're anything like I was, being alone is like hell. I thought being alone was for losers. I tried hard NOT to be alone. I surrounded myself with people, parties, drugs, and alcohol just so I didn't have to be alone. I never realized at the time that I was doing this on purpose. It wasn't until I got sober that I realized I hated to be alone with myself. Being alone meant thinking about everything and I hated to let my mind wander. Alone time meant beating myself up, questioning my whole life, my existence, and constant anxiety about where my life was headed. It made sense that I chose to occupy my life with fake friends, nights out at the club, and literally anything else that would keep my body and my mind busy. I couldn't figure out why there were people who actually enjoyed being alone, staying in on the weekends, or even, ::gasp::, people who quiet their minds on purpose.. also known as meditation.

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10 Name Concepts For Your Own Higher Power

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10 Name Concepts For Your Own Higher Power

Now that I've been attending AA for about 5 months and I'm working the 12 steps, I've had to explore the concept of a higher power. Like I've mentioned in my previous posts, anything with the word God attached to it used to make me cringe. I would run far far away from whatever it was. Organized religion and the word "God" still don't sit right with me, but what I love about AA is that it has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with spirituality.

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Why is St. Patrick's Day a Drinking Holiday?

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Why is St. Patrick's Day a Drinking Holiday?

If you're anything like I was when drinking, you celebrate your right to binge drink on every holiday, or you make up your own to get in more drinking. That leads us to today's wonderful holiday - St. Patrick's Day. It's like this holiday was made for drinking. It's what it's all about right? Everywhere you look it's green beer, bar crawls, Irish car bombs, etc. Marketing has gone crazy around this holiday with green clothes, Hallmark cards, and bar promotions. How did this happen? And what's St. Patrick's Day REALLY about?

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