How To Deal With People Who Aren't Supportive Of Your Sobriety

/
How To Deal With People Who Aren't Supportive Of Your Sobriety

I got sober and now everyone should be happy. Look at me, I'm awesome. This shit is hard and I deserve support. Sound familiar? I think we have all gone through this stage at some point in our sobriety. And if you haven't yet, chances are you might.

When I got sober I thought everyone would be happy for me and support me, but that was not the case. Not everyone understood my decision to get sober. Some people's reactions surprised me, some did not, and some just couldn't deal with seeing me sober because that would mean they would need to look at their own drinking and using habits. It's hard not to take these factors personally. It's also hard to believe anyone wouldn't want to support you on making a healthy life decision, like choosing not to use drugs or drink anymore. But it still happens.

Read More

Don't Drink And Drive, Ever

/
Don't Drink And Drive, Ever

With the holidays coming up I wanted to touch on an important topic: drinking and driving. I think it becomes a more common occurrence during the holidays when people are attending more parties and events that involve drinking. And chances are if you have issues with alcohol, you've driven drunk at least once. I will be the first to admit that I drove under the influence many times. Luckily, I never got into an accident or hurt anyone. I also never got a DUI, but I did get pulled over once. It was the one time I drove while blacked out and it scared the crap out of me. It was in Pennsylvania when I was in college and a friend and I went to the bar on a weeknight. The small downtown city bars were a 15 minute drive from campus and no one used taxis there. We had no choice but to take a car. I drove, knowing that I would drink at the bar. My excuse was: if I get too drunk we can take a cab home and I'll leave my car. I don't remember making the decision to drive.

Read More

The Only Way To Deal With Pain Is To Go Through It

/
The Only Way To Deal With Pain Is To Go Through It

Have you ever had one of those days when everything seems to be going wrong and you just feel like you can't get out of your funk? It doesn't take much for me to get into that mindset of "why me?" and "life isn't fair." I had one of those days this week.

I've been having stomach issues off and on for the last year. I saw a gastroenterologist in June and was prescribed some antibiotics that gave me some short-term relief and I continued on with the mindset that the issues would just go away. When they didn't, I finally decided to head back to the doctor and that appointment was this week. They told me I needed to schedule a colonoscopy to make sure it's nothing serious and that I should cut dairy out of my diet. It could be that I developed a lactose intolerance. Or it could be something else like Irritable Bowel Syndrome (ugh). Not only did I get this news, but the doctor also gave me a speech I've heard one too many times. He told me I needed to do some "soul-searching" about playing soccer after 6 knee surgeries and what impact that could have on my health and future.

Read More

13th Step Jokes Aren't Funny

/
13th Step Jokes Aren't Funny

I hate to be a buzzkill, but 13th step jokes aren't funny. The whole 13th step concept is weird, shameful, and tragic. I've always been the person who doesn't think racist jokes are funny, or rape jokes, or any type of sensitive subject that is used as the butt of someone's humor.

Growing up I was the one always telling my peers not to say the "n" word when referring to people of color, or the "f" word to describe gay people. I used to get a lot of weird looks and eye rolls. In college a few friends of mine were on an intramural flag football team they cleverly named, "SDIA" which spelled AIDS backwards. Yes, like the syndrome that is caused by the HIV virus. Why did they pick this name? They were going to "infect" everyone in the league and win all their games. I can't make this shit up folks. I remember when I heard their reasoning and saw their t-shirts I was so angry I cried. How could people be so cruel? Did they not know that AIDS is a deadly disease that has killed millions including someone important in my own family? Obviously not.

Read More

Your Worst Sobriety Fears [Explained In Halloween Gifs]

/
Your Worst Sobriety Fears [Explained In Halloween Gifs]

It's that time of the year again! The time when all the ghosts and goblins come out, and people take joy in hiding behind their masks. For those of us who deal with substance abuse disorder, it's not uncommon to hide our true selves behind the masks of our disease. Fear can be paralyzing, especially when it prevents you from enjoying the gifts of sobriety. I know that when I got sober I thought my life was over and I had many overpowering fears that hung over my head like a rain cloud. Since we're in the spooky Halloween spirit, I've complied a list of your worst sobriety fears complete with creepy gifs. Hopefully you'll see just how silly sobriety fears are!

Read More

Why It's So Hard To Ask For Help With An Addiction

/
Why It's So Hard To Ask For Help With An Addiction

The question I am most often asked on here is this: how did you do it? How did you get sober? It seems like such a simple question, but the answer is complex. For some people struggling for years with addiction, I'm sure loved ones and significant others are always asking the question, "why now?" in terms of getting sober. I know that I was in dark place for a few years and asking for help never occurred to me. So how do we get to that point? Why is it so hard to ask for help with an addiction? Here are some reasons why I think it's difficult.

Read More

The Hardest Parts About Being Sober

/
The Hardest Parts About Being Sober

I talk sobriety up on here. That's because 99.9% of the time it's amazing and it has definitely transformed my life. I want more people to know how great it is so they can try it themselves. But I wanted to get real for a minute in this post because I want people to know that being sober isn't always easy. Sometimes it can be hard. That's not to say it's impossible or that you shouldn't try this way of life, but just like in life, there are good days and bad. These are the hardest parts about being sober.

Read More

Why Storytelling Is The LifeBlood Of Recovery - Book Download

/
Why Storytelling Is The LifeBlood Of Recovery - Book Download

What is it about stories that make us feel alive? It’s not just in the recovery community; stories are all the rage in marketing and advertising too. It’s the human condition – we yearn for someone to understand us. We feel safer buying from brands that we connect with. If we see others like us doing something, we realize we can do it too. Hearing people talk openly and honestly about their struggles and successes makes them real, relatable, and feasible. It’s that powerful phrase of relief we desire to utter, or have others say back to us, “me too.” There is almost nothing worse than feeling like the only one – the dread of loneliness that so often engulfs those in the throes of addiction, trauma, or abuse. It should be no surprise that sharing a recovery story can change or save a life, or plant the seed of evolution in a complete stranger.

Read More

Why I'm Going To Unite To Face Addiction On October 4

/
Why I'm Going To Unite To Face Addiction On October 4

Unite to Face Addiction is a big rally on the National Mall in Washington D.C. set to take place on Sunday, October 4, from 4 to 8 p.m. The event will include musical performances from Steven Tyler, The Goo Goo Dolls, Sheryl Crow, The Fray, and many others. Additionally, there will be recovery advocates from across the country and inspirational speakers whose lives have been touched by addiction in some way. The goal of Unite To Face Addiction is to bring awareness and new solutions to the addiction crisis in America.

Read More

What Recovery Month Means To Me

/
What Recovery Month Means To Me

This year I've got two years and a few months of sobriety under my belt. I've done more soul-searching, read more books, written more, and became a proud member of a 12 step group. I guess last year I felt a little disconnected from the recovery movement. I only happened to stumble upon Recovery Month 2014 via a Facebook post and reading the Recovery Month website. I was not yet in a 12 step program and I wondered to myself if I could really call myself a person in "recovery." This year I am 100% sure I am a person in long-term recovery and it's not just because I'm a member of a 12 step fellowship. Over the last year I've involved myself more in the recovery community, especially online. I've shared my story on countless websites and have recently written it for a book that will be a collection of recovery stories. I'm even laying the groundwork for writing my own memoir. What!? I know. I've fully embraced recovery and it's taken me to places I never thought possible.

Read More

7 Things I Learned At My First ICYPAA

/
7 Things I Learned At My First ICYPAA

Do you ever feel like you were just destined to be friends with someone? You meet and it's not weird at all. It's like you've known each other for years. It's a rare quality in a friendship and I got to experience it this past weekend. I finally met my online friend Beth after catfishing her for a year and a half (I kid.) Our paths crossed in the rarest of circumstances. We both wrote about our sobriety and our posts both got picked up by the Huffington Post in May of 2014. We both wrote each other emails and discovered we shared the same sobriety date. Just like that we became friends. We started talking, texting, and snapchatting daily. A year and a half later, I finally met her in the flesh and blood when she came to Florida last week. Beth came down to go to ICYPAA - the International Conference for Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous and I went with her.

Read More

Recovery Messaging Training With Young People In Recovery

/
Recovery Messaging Training With Young People In Recovery

I talk a lot about recovering out loud, breaking the stigma of addiction, and telling your story. But I've never really considered how my rhetoric can affect the public's perception of this disease that I'm dealing with.

Last Saturday I crossed over to the other side of the state and visited Boynton Beach to attend a Young People in Recovery event called Recovery Messaging Training. It sounded like something that was right up my alley and I had been wanting to attend a YPR event for awhile now so this was the perfect one. I met a lot of great people and learned new information about how I can present my recovery to the world.

Read More

The 4 Stages Of Early Sobriety

/
The 4 Stages Of Early Sobriety

Lately I've been receiving a ton of messages and emails from my readers about early sobriety. I realize that many of us contemplate sobriety for months, or even years, before we decide to take the leap and make a change. Before we do, we want to know exactly what it's going to be like and what's going to happen when we get sober. I'm sure that's why a lot of you read my blog in the first place. You want to know - is getting sober possible? Is it enjoyable? What is everyday life going to be like? Well, to briefly answer those questions, early sobriety is different from years of sobriety, as I am quickly learning at 2 years and 3.5 months sober. I think early sobriety can easily be broken down into 4 realistic stages which I will detail for you below.

Read More

The Anatomy of a Blackout

/
The Anatomy of a Blackout

If you haven't heard of the book, Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank To Forget by Sarah Hepola yet, you've most likely been living under a rock. She has been on all of my favorite recovery podcasts, blog sites, and news sites, (even CNN and NPR!) and I'm not surprised because her book is just as good as all the hype it got.Not only is her storytelling ability and candidness refreshing and captivating, her story is one I can 100% relate to. I found myself thinking at several points in the book, wow, it's like she is taking thoughts out of my brain and writing them in this book. I literally couldn't put the book down. I kept thinking she is me, I am her, we are the same person.

Read More

Everything You Need To Know About Sober Travel

/
Everything You Need To Know About Sober Travel

I really can't believe I haven't written a specific post about this before. Most of you know that traveling is one of my favorite things and it's 1000% better now that I'm sober. Travel can be intimidating when you're newly sober. I am often asked about places to avoid, what I do differently now that I'm sober, and overall how sober travel compares to drunk travel. I'm going to answer these questions and share my experience on how sober travel is for me now and how it was when I first got sober.

Read More

No Amount of Alcohol is Safe to Drink if You're Pregnant

/
No Amount of Alcohol is Safe to Drink if You're Pregnant

No I'm not pregnant! Haha, but I do know several people who are. I recently watched a documentary sent to me by a reader called Moment to Moment: Teens Growing Up With FASDs [Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders]. On the blog I often talk about drinking and how it has affected my life, as well as the widespread consequences caused by addiction. I read a lot about the devastating effects of drugs and alcohol on bodies, the epidemic of overdosing, and the constant suffering experienced by the families of addicts. Something I don't see a lot about when I read about addiction is mothers-to-be who drink while pregnant. Did you know each year 2-5% of all babies born in the U.S. have been affected by their mother's drinking alcohol during pregnancy? I didn't. I also didn't know Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders is the number 1 cause of preventable intellectual disability in the U.S. These are only a couple of facts I learned from watching this documentary. The scary part is some women believe drinking during pregnancy has no effect and others are too wrapped up in their addiction to care. If you're one of them or know one, please take into consideration the devastating effects alcohol could have on your unborn child. Watching this documentary allowed me to see with my own eyes the long-lasting consequences.

Read More

My First International AA Convention Atlanta 2015

/
My First International AA Convention Atlanta 2015

As summer is flying by, I had a unique opportunity to join a friend and her mom at the International Convention in Atlanta from July 2 to 5. It worked out perfectly as I was able to celebrate my friend's 1 year soberversary while we were there and speak with her mom, who was one of the first people I messaged on the day I decided to stop drinking. I knew she was in the program and I thought she might have some advice for me. She told me to get a Big Book and that I would live a life beyond my wildest dreams. She was so right. Reminiscing with those gals was enough to make the weekend worth it, but I also attended a bunch of fun meetings too. Let me explain what an International Convention is all about.

Read More

I Drank Alcohol By Accident, Did I Relapse?

/
I Drank Alcohol By Accident, Did I Relapse?

s most of you know I've been on vacation in Canada since last week. My trip has been amazingly unforgettable with lots of soccer, culture, food, and memories. I've had experiences that will last a lifetime. I've also had a few traumatizing things happen to me while I was away.

Read More

12 Lessons Learned From the 12 Steps

/
12 Lessons Learned From the 12 Steps

I recently finished my first time through the 12 steps. I did this through a local step study class and with my sponsor. I wasn't sure how it was going to go and I think a big reason I avoided attending AA for so long was because of the 4th step where you write down your ugly past and then tell your sponsor about it in step 5. I was terrified. It definitely didn't go how I thought it would and it was not as scary. Plus, I learned a whole lot of other awesome stuff along the way. Here is what I learned during my first time through the 12 steps

Read More

This is 30 - Birthday Reflections From a Sober 30 Year Old

/
This is 30 - Birthday Reflections From a Sober 30 Year Old

As a gemini my birthday is the most important holiday of the year by far. Fellow geminis, I'm sure you can relate! We want everyone to know it's our birthday and how they can help us celebrate. June 7 is that day for me. As with most milestones in my life I took the time to sit down and reflect about how this birthday is different for me and what I've learned so far in my 30 years on this Earth.

Read More